No More Excuses Means a "Health Partnership" & a Better Marriage

By Audrey Matz-Pasierb

When I was asked by Doc Russ and Karen to write a blog post about how my relationship with my husband has changed since taking control of my lifestyle, I was pretty sure that I’d only be able to write a short paragraph. But once I began to think about it, I realized that a little background was important to understand those changes.

I’ve been married to Bill for 12 years. When we married he was a martial arts instructor who owned his own school, ran marathons, biathlons, triathlons, and loved bike races. He also ate very healthy. On the other hand, I had two young children and lived life on the go as I was doing undergraduate coursework while working full time. Health, exercise, and nutrition was not in my vocabulary.

Ultimately, I graduated with both my Bachelor and Master Degrees and began a stressful job teaching in a multi-aged classroom. There was not much free time between the long hours in the school, lesson planning at home, and running the kids to school for practices, rehearsals, games or concerts. A few years into our marriage I suffered some physical and mental health issues which led to a pretty large weight gain. Fortunately, I have the most loving and supportive husband a wife could ever ask for. Throughout the months and years following my health concerns, he was right beside me to pick up the slack where it was needed. He displayed love in its purest form.

Throughout many of those “unhealthy” years, he would voice his concern to me. “Hun, I want to grow old with you. I want to travel and do fun things, but I can’t do that with you if you don’t take care of yourself.” All the while, he’d take off for an hour or so for a bike ride or go for a run. He never once allowed me hold him back from his exercise. On beautiful spring or fall days, we’d go for a ride in the car and he’d pull over and ask if I wanted to walk through the woods or on the beach. I’d say no, and give him and excuse that I was tired, wasn’t wearing the right shoes, my back hurt, had a headache….

He never gave up on me but always gently he nudged me. He’d ask, I’d decline, yet he still loved me. Until one day, I made up my mind that I was ready to get healthy. It was a decision I made completely on my own, but when I told Bill, he told me that I had his complete support. Slowly I made changes in the way I planned meals, in the way I did our food shopping, I began reading articles, joined a couple of websites to help manage calories and exercise.

Then one day he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. I shocked him with “Yes” and put on my sneakers. We walked maybe 100 yards, when I told him that my back hurt and wanted to go home. He agreed. Over time, we’d walk further and began walking faster. Never once did he push me to go further or faster, but when I suggested he agreed. He always stayed with me and walked beside me, no matter how slow or fast I went. That began in May of 2012.

In the summer of 2012, I told him that I wanted to walk a 5K. He encouraged me to do it, helped me to “train” for it. Now remember, he’d done plenty of 5-or 10K’s before we were married. He did a few after we married as well…but slowly he’d gotten out of it, so he was pretty pumped that now I wanted to do this. On September 15, 2012 we did our first 5K together. I was pretty sure that he wanted to take off and run, but he walked beside me the entire way! When the finish line was in sight, we ran across…only he let me cross first!!

As we entered the fall and winter season, we did two more 5K’s and are already talking about the upcoming season. My goal is to do at least one 5K a month from May through November. Even better, is that when he asked what I wanted for Christmas this past year , I told him that I wanted new walking sneakers, a heart rate monitor, and some cold weather gear. He couldn’t believe that I actually asked for only gear for exercise!! He was more than happy to fulfill my requests!!

Bill is my biggest cheerleader! He’s my best supporter! He’s the motivator when I’m doing great or when things aren’t going as planned. He reminds me of the successes I’ve made and helps me to focus on what needs to be changed. But I’ve learned that the best part of living a healthy lifestyle is that I get to do all of these things with my partner in health!